Ehmm...Seriously speaking...This holiday is nothing but schooling...Damn it...I just realised that I am practically booked for all the weekends in august. I dunnoe how am I gonna study for the BIG exams knowing that I made a deal with someone. Haiz...This semester, I think if I continue to dwell on the stressness, I will get nothing but F in my result slip. Haiz...I dun want that to happen..Damn it!
I will not dwell on my stress and start my butt going.. I doubt I will blog for the next few months considering my tight schedule. This is my last year..I aint gonna fail this test big time! I know my results for the mst...Mostly, I failed...Now, to open a new book for the next 6 weeks, since my motivator is not around to motivate me due to some unforseen circumstances, I will make the full use of my inner strength to motivate myself.
What is the strength? It is none other than the determination to help my parents when I work. I am lucky that I think about the future, I choose this course knowing that the prospects of becoming a quantity surveyor is quite high. Itz gonna be tough but itz ok. Id rather be an assistant qs rather than be at home doing nothing. Though the pay is not high, at least I knew my future is settled. Marriage is secondary. If I get married at an early age, my time has come and that is my soulmate. Anyways, what is a soulmate????? I also dunnoe. Whatever it is, family and career should alwayz comes first no matter what!
You know something...Love has alwayz been secondary but I am in love during my poly days..And I am loving it..Will this lasts? That, only the future will tell...Haiz.....Secondary but a bonus to all my poly mates who is in love right now.....Ryte guys?
|3:35 PM|
Today...the day started off as fine.......Let me begin.....
Early in the morning, I had Nurhayat Orientation. Hmm...the calling of freshies were done and of the 11 people who said that wanted to come, only 9 people managed...Haiz..But still the games must go on! 4 girls and 5 boys...i played with them...wokayz bery enthusiastic, but i think,if there were more freshies like in KEM PANGLIMA, it would be a great one. Never mind, we should be happy with whatever we have...Any updates, check out the Nurhayat Blog which is in malay, sorry peepz..it was done by our fabulous Hisham!!!! Thanx hisham for doing my job!
After Nurhayat Orientation, I met my best friend, Norliana to shop for her stuff and my stuff. First off, we went to Bugis Village. Hmm, so many people walking but I have to make do with whatever energy I have. I was freaking tired and nauseous. I wonder why but I keep on with the spirit of going on. I initially wanted to buy myself a drink but knowing that I have enough money to buy a thumb drive, I shudder the idea of buying one. After she had bought her stuff, we walked our way to Sim Lim Square.
The walk is not that far from bugis and I thought it is very far. I should have explored Singapore often. Yupz, there was a lot of electronics shop here. Fuh!! From one shop to the other, and yet I cant find a thumb drive which costs $40 for 256MGB...then, as i was about to give up, I bought myself one. Its super duper small that I am scared i might lost that thumb drive. Fuh! It was just a small chip and not like the one that my frens have. According to the uncle, he said, this thumb drive doesnt have a hard cover unlike the $50(the one like my frens)...I have to make do with it..When I am working, i would like to buy the 2gigabyte thumbdrive. Its to save all my works....
After bugis, we head straight to Boat Quay to pass Rafiz his friend's cert, abdur rahman. Keep your eyes intact mr! He was looking my best friend like he wanted to eat her. I just wanted to say it to him but since it was for a short while, I just keep quiet. Hmm...he was there to watch the fireworks of the national day. Looking at his friends and all the activities at the boat quay, Liana asked me to go home(so not) in front of him. Nevertheless, we actually walked our way to the Esplanade only to find out that there was a lot of barriers. So we had to make do with the merlion! Fuh!! The fireworks was superb! For the couples, they sit by the riverside...It must be very romantic, huh? Haiz..if only I could have that kind of romanticness. But itz all in my mind..In my mind when the fireworks blasted into the air was somebody did a perfect romantic gesture would be fireworks saying that ABAB Loves Sharifah Nurulhuda!! Fuh, another fantasy of mine never gonna happen. Haiz...or perhaps...Nah..it aint gonna happen..All fantasies are just meant to be fantasies never gonna happen..
On our way home, we talked a lot about our friends back in our current school and dunearn. Fuh, somehow, I missed my dunearn days where all the friends there dont backstabbed each other. Haiz..anyways, met this Gelora guy also acting in Cinta Bollywood, Rafi Khan..Hmm, looks like me Brother-in Law...ahakz..Wokayz la..Not so interested in him..
At nite, hmm...went chatting and behold and behold....made another mistake. A mistake which will makes me vulnerable to any circumstances but im willing to face the music. I listen to what my heart wanted to say. Its gonna happen anytime and at any place..just watched out...read his blog and wow! It hurts me a lot. Sometimes, love is beautiful, Sometimes, it is pain..whatever it is...Love is a combination of both. Just look at the positive side, aint it? Love, what is love? Again, I failed in interpreting wats love...Soon to be, soon....whatever I said in the previous blog will come true...Yeah, I aint kidding you...Its just that the stress is not the max yet. Going to be but not to be...
Still to remember my sec 5 days when I cant take the stress...Friends to note, this is not the first time....again, I dont have the courage to do it..Soon, Soon, to be, I will have the courage....Haiz...
A cry of plead....Help me, somebody? Stress is the word that I am facing rite now..Stress over studies, stress over broken relationship(yeah, haven gotten over it yet, thats why I am still living in fantasy land), stress over choosing to be a part of either malaysia or singapore,stress about friendship, stress about not getting the job done....Haiz....whatever it is..I will persevere and make do with the resources around me to overcome the stress...
3rd Year...............6 more months to go!!!!!!!! Im off to workland..Wonder what kind of stress will I be facing then......Speaking of which, I just realised something the other time I went out with him, I will be supporting my parents at quite an early age of 21....Yupz, I cant wait to support both sides of my parents...Eh...yeah hor..this could be a determination to help me study better...To support both sides of my parents....
Looking at the future..Whatever happens will happen...If it is meant to be yours, it will be in the end....
|12:29 AM|
Haiz...i think i have to risk saying everything ryte now...Kalau sesiapa yang terasa itu....janganlah marah eh...Dun be mad if it hits u cuz i aint gonna say anything..........Dont even try to say sorry in the tagboard cuz do some soul-searching yourself!
Sometimes I dont understand some people. Sometimes I cant clique with some people. Is it just me or issit the whole world is like this? Read some of my fren's blog and it so happens that being kind is no longer good these days.... My face was being stepped over just because I was tooo lenient on them. I really don't know why people like to make use of me? The fact is there yet I dun want to face the fact. Sometimes, reality beats fantasy.
In secondary school, therez this stigma going on. In fact, the clever students never get to clique with the normal student. I thought it was only happening in my secondary school, then, NOW, NOW, there are still people who still thinks over the top. I really don't know what makes paper valuable..Its happening everywhere. In workplace, in school, in wherever...I see it everywhere. ..I dun mean to criticize the people who still treats us like we are human but to those who dont, please do some soul searching...Give them a chance, GIVE US A CHANCE! We have feelings, itz not like we dont.
There are some who are anti-people, (i.e. religion, race, skin, etc). We are humans. Every religion says we should be good to each other. With the bombings everywhere, we should stick together and fight terrorism and not being anti. For once u are anti-people, you will be steorytyping that they are like so and so when not all are like that. For example(anti-malay), you heard a fren said that this person is so and so...and because that person is malay, you straight away yes, that person is like this. What the! You should understand a person first before making any speculations. I am that kind of person. Understanding is important. I also believe that people will notice if u r so anti-people.
There are some who just criticize or being sarcastic people as if they dont feel anything. Just because, JUST BECAUSE I SMILE, IT DOESNT MEAN I AM NOT HURT INSIDE. I just dont want to make it be seen! So, if I smile, it could mean a thousand words! When I finally show my sadness,it means the hurt is too much, TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH TILL I WONT FORGIVE! When I finally show my anger, thats when, the hurt is the MAX! But, they say, I am too childish to even think whats ryte and wrong.
HAIZ, sometimes, I HATE MYSELF! There was even a time,I feel like self-inflicting myself with this penknife. But because I have no courage to do it, I just look and imagine, IMAGINE, how would it feels like. I wonder, soon, SOON, if the pain is kerbed and not let out, I think I would not only imagine, I would do it physically. So what, if I dont love myself. I tried to love myself by giving treats to myself whenever I am sad, Chocolates, Sweets, DVD Marathon,you named it but it seems it doesnt seem to work anymore. In fact just imagining myself doing the self-inflicting could make me feel better. I wonder if i do it physically, would it feel even better? Perhaps, I should try when I have the courage. But like i said, I dun even have the courage to do it. Haiz, it feels like fear factor eh....hahaz...
Yeah let me repeat again what I said in the first paragraph..........
Haiz...i had risk saying everything that is needed to say ryte from the bottom of my heart...Kalau sesiapa yang terasa itu....janganlah marah eh...Dun be mad if it hits u cuz i aint gonna say anything..........Dont even try to say sorry in the tagboard cuz do some soul-searching yourself! Wokayz peepz! Take Care aight! Dont bother telling me that self-inflicting is bad or try to hide all those sharp things, cuz I wont have the courage to do it.
|11:16 PM|
Haiz.....3 papers down..So far..confidence running low now..Flunking 2 papers already..Only had confidence in only the IT N CA paper..the rest..i think its as good as saying GOODBYE...I wonder if i can manage to pluck up my courage after this and do well for the next upcoming exams which is...8weeks from now? Yeah, september..thats the month i will dread the most but since its not over yet..I shall persevere and be patient that i will study super doubly hard for this 2 papers the next round. One thing for sure..therez a reason behind flunking the papers but I aint telling cuz itz already obvious in your eyes..Nopez not becuz of ehmm, ehmm..but rather....oopz..tatz the clue that i have to give la eh..Sorry..Haiz.....Wo...kayz back to study now..Measurement paper..concept studying...Practice makes better..Ryte Faeiz? Another short one by sha...TATAZ FOR NOW!
|7:40 PM|
Its down to 4 papers and off to holidaying? SO NOT~ Next up, ACSNQ...A killer paper..a lot of drawings but i hope i can manage it well..the paper im scared off, MBW n PNQ...These 2 papers..one i have difficulty in understanding concept, the other, never paid attn in class...I have to rely on my subconscious mind to study for pnq..reason..been sleeping during that class...haiz..itula..tidor lagi ar minah nie..Haiz...reminds me of accountings last year..slept thruout yet managed to pass with a D+...a miracle but tt was maths..this is purely theory. But..fear not, i will study as much as possible during this weekend! So, this week, no updates...as for multiply..i wonder..bila nak masuk eh? ahakz!
|7:04 PM|
Haiz.....I am so troubled now. In fact, I am in trouble. I cant say what it is but I know i have to save it by doing something. By now, i guess everyone of you guys know that I have yet again..EHMM, EHMM....Yeah, I have to save myself...Somehow, I dunnoe, Is it me? Have I changed lately??? I guess so, I have been having a slow fuse lately..in fact, its getting slower..I wonder how am i gonna survive this 3rd year. I really hope my fuse will get better by the day cuz I cant fail my 3rd year..NOT NOW, NOT EVER!!!
Somehow, I have to pull myself together myself now. Yeah, he will be there..Like i said, I have to save something but exams is like....NEXT FRIDAY?! DAMN! I AM SUPER DOOMED TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAIZ....WOKAYZ...I SHALL START THE BALL ROLLING BY STUDYING..........
ACSNQ
PNQ
IT.CA
MBW
CONADMIN
.....................................................................................
So there goes my scene......haiz..I AM STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|5:08 PM|
Cancer - Your Love Profile
Your positive traits:
You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on
A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows
You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with
Your negative traits:
Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner
You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult
It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down.
Your ideal partner:
Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply
Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family
Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt!
Your dating style:
Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another.
Your seduction style:
Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship.
Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild.
Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac.
Tips for the future:
Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you.
Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing.
Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first.
Best place to meet someone online:
eHarmony - you'll be able to take the time to get to know each potential match well
Best color to attract mate: Aqua
Best day for a date: Wednesday
Get your free love profile at Blogthings.
|11:43 PM|
The True You
You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed. With respect to money, you spend as little as possible. You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others. The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society. You are the type of person who assumes that the world revolves around yourself. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out. 
You are pure, moral, and adaptable.
You tend to blend into your surroundings.
Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends.
You believe that you live a virtuous life...
And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.
As a result, people tend to crave your approval.
Your Birthdate: June 24
Born on the 24th, you have a greater capacity for responsibility and helping others than your may have realized.
You may also become the mediator and peacemaker in inharmonious situations.
Devoted to family, you tend to manage and protect.
This birth date adds to the emotional nature and perhaps to the sensitivities.
Affections are important to you; both the giving and the receiving.
Your Rising Sign is Taurus
You are the ultimate rock - stable and centered.
People turn to you in crisis and count on you for calm.
Stubborn and strong minded, you can't be pushed around.
You are also tenacious, and you always will stick with something difficult.
A bit fan of nature, you're attracted to the beauty of the outdoors.
And sometimes, you find it easier to relate to animals than people.
|11:32 PM|
Hey peepz! Long time no see yeah!!! Hmm...I just updated my multiply website at http://shanurda85.multiply.com, its sumthing like friendster now but a better one. With a blog and calendar all together, itz ok rite..Its been a year since the last time i updated. Hmm...i had the best week ever..but at the same time exams are just about the corner.Its the last week of schools and poof! Its the exams period. DAMN! I just forgot that i have to a quotation on posters! But i cant! Haiyoh!!HELP!!!!!!!!!MACAMANA NIE?????I also dunnoe..what i know i have to come out with VALID reasons why I cant get the quotations..MAMPUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haiz.......if i dun update here, i update at multiply..so itz two way yeah...So i will update either one...Just drop by and see what i have there! Ciaoz for now!
|1:50 PM|